One Woman’s World

The Bean and I made it all the way out here. We survived the three-hour flight with only some minor squirming to interrupt things. We pullws ir odd qirh fwnweL FExw NS LOQIRH FWNWEl feXW ns locwlniwaa.

Er… that last sentence was typed with my fingers on the wrong keys while I was looking around me with fascination at the family pictues that my mother has around us EVERYWHERE! I’ll leave it to you to figure out what I said. I’ve forgotten already.

Anyway, back to the fact that I’m in tropical paradise. It feels so green and lush and lovely here, and the people who govern Texas weather decided to make an exception to the high 90 degree weather, and plunk the temperature back into the mid 80’s. The pool in the backyard makes me so happy, as does the spf 45 sunblock that’s allowing us to go and live out there. Bean’s even getting used to the dog. (He is a perfect sweetie, but it seems that in the last three weeks she has discovered a mortal fear of canines.)

Last night I had Philly cheese steak subs for dinner.

ummm…. yummm!

Tonight we’re going out to Chuck E. Cheese, so Grammy and Papa can show the Bean what it really means to have a good time.

We’re all full of plans for a fabulous and joyful family time. The only thing missing is my sweetheart to make the whole trip perfect.

But even not having him here has it’s up-side. Cause check out part of the email he wrote me this morning:

“I love you, love you, Love You, LOVE YOU!

If I had a time-warping mailbox, then I would send you a letter from
two years ago every day.

If I was a handsome doctor and you were a plucky, pretty and just a
tiny bit clumsy wedding consultant, then I would snatch you out of the
path of onrushing dumpsters whenever I could.

If you took tokens in a subway booth and had a not-so-sneak-ret crush
on my comatose brother, then I would build some sturdy, attractive
furniture for you.

If you were a girl who wanted to jump horses from a 40-foot tower into
a pool and a tragic accident left you blind, then I would be the
strapping lad who admired your pluck, helped you to learn your trade
and gradually fell in love.”

So I had to respond:

“If you were a returning soldier-turned-candy salesman, and I were a pregant Mexican woman, I’d let you pose as my husband anytime.

If I were a beautiful, animated country lass, and you were a large buffalo-style monster and I was your prisoner and you ate like a dog, I’d drink out of my bowl with you until I learned to love you. But only if you let me use all the books in your library.

If I were an irish primadonna, and you were a scrappy boxer, I’d travel to America with you and travel cross-country while you supported me by taking large blows to the head. Then in the end, after you were killed by my Irish Snidely Whiplash-esque fiance’s horse, I’d bring your spirit back when it tried to fly away.

If I were a beautiful lady with long blonde hair, and you were a farm boy, I’d never boss you around, and if you asked me for anything, I’d say: “As you wish.”

If I were a heart-transplant patient, and it turned out that the heart belonged to your dead wife, I’d go to Italy and wait for you to sweep me off my feet. ”

I love that man…
I love this trip…
I love life…

p.s. That was also this week’s Name That… competition. Name the movie for each one of our weird scenarios, and you win! Happy Guessing!

He’s back. And he’s as delightful as ever Christopher Reeve made him. I saw Superman Returns, this morning, and let me tell you I was hooked. It makes me want to go back and watch the original movies again. I remember as a kid wishing I could be Lois Lane and fly away with the handsome stranger. Go see the movie, kids. It’ll take you right back to the childhood fantasy.

And in other news: uh….?

My life is boring. We’ve decided to wait to sell our home. We’ve decided to wait to buy a home. I’m not tutoring for the summer. I’m not even doing too much photography. I’m not pregnant. Bean’s not terrorizing our home with a brutal stage. I can’t think of a single thing except more Bean anecdotes to blog about.

I really want some ice cream right now.

And that’s all.

And you were worried I’d stop blogging and sharing my oh-so-fascinating life with you every day!

Silly you.

I’m staying right here telling you…. uh… things.

Like: I had refried beans and tortilla chips for dinner.

Can you tell I’m so bored I could have fun checking the freshness dates on my dairy products?

Maybe Cody’ll come home from his church visits tonight with a killer plan.

Or maybe I’ll go play scrabble with myself.

After French Celtic rap, we have moved on to two new loves for the Bean. Time out, and God. Hopefully not in that order.

And what am I supposed to do about it if my child thinks time out is cool? This is a seriously plea for advice, people. When Beanie needs a time-out, I send her to the time out chair, which she willingly goes to and climbs onto herself. She then stays there the whole time, standing up and sitting down and having conversations with herself.

When we’re done, she says sorry, and enjoys the hugs and kisses. She’s even been known to yell, “Yay, hug,” after it’s all over.

She likes it. I’ve been trying to find a way to make it seem like a punishment, and not like a fun novel activity in the middle of our days.

It seems she also likes God. In fact, after singing I Am A Child Of God the other day, she followed up with, “Yay God!” When I told her I liked God, too, she responded, “I like it, God.”

Oh please let her still feel the same way in about twenty years.

And I guess that Beanie and I aren’t really that different, after all.

In fact, I love time out now. The chance to sit and relax in a chair with no one to bother me. I still “like it God,” too.

When we took Bean to the Dr. for her 18 month checkup in January, she weighed in at a solid 30 lbs.

When we had her back in May for an illness she weighed 30 lbs.

“Wow,” I said to the nurse, “she hasn’t gained anything in 5 months.”

When we had her back last week they plunked her on the good old baby-scale, and sure enough, 30 lbs still.

“I can’t believe this,” I said, “she hasn’t gained anything at all, since January.”

So this is when the nurse looks at me like I’m an idiot, and says, “Well, that scale doesn’t measure above 30 lbs.”

!!!???

And these, friends, are the medical professionals ensuring that my child remains healthy from day to day.

FYI: She weighs 32 pounds. Too bad it wasn’t 45. It would have made a much funnier story.

In related Beanie anecdotes:

Her new favorite movie is “Groove.” and her new favorite phrase. Wait for it, wait for it…

“No touchy!”

I just spent some time reading back through the posts I wrote when I was going through my miscarriage. and I realized something. Some of my most poignant self-expression and analysis, and a lasting record of who I am and who I am becoming through good and bad has come from this blog. And whether or not anyone ever benefits from it but me, I must keep writing it. I am so grateful even for just the miscarriage entries. Otherwise I might forget what I came to know in that time of grief and learning.

I’m sticking around.
I’m back.

That buying a home is an emotional, tumultuous procedure. Even made more complicated by the fact that it’s not your first home, and you have to list your first house, and monstrous people must come tromping through in hoardes at all hours of day or night, and your offer is contingent on the sale of your home, and you really want the new home, so you think about whether or not your lender is insane when he tells you you can qualify to carry both mortgages for awhile, and you wonder if you can sell as quickly or for as much as you want to, and you’re tired of talking to people who all want to sell you something and are giving you big teethy grins and contemplating giving you the wink and the gun. Sheesh, I need a nap!

As blog summer break?

It’s like without even meaning to, I’ve taken one. I can’t seem to find a second to call mine to post.

I’m so busy I’m not even returning phone calls or cleaning my house.

Blogging is missed…

And yet, I make no promises about coming back strong anytime soon.

And yet I miss it.

Maybe fall won’t be so busy?

It seems like the hardest thing in the world lately to actually sit down and compose a blog post. I used to think about the blog all the time. Lately, I’ve been so busy I hardly ever sit down to think about it, much less read anyone else’s. So I’m sorry, kids. I feel like a bad blog friend when I’m not commenting and reading and posting regularly.

But on a happy note, I’m making great strides in housekeeping lately.

You MUST see what I’ve done with my kitchen.

I feel like the wizard of home decor for the spacially-challenged. That shelving unit is composed of two finished boards with three pillars of 5-gallon food-storage buckets supporting the shelves. Inside is water-storage, food-storage, and kitchen objects. I wish I had a before picture to show you how my home-decoratishness has improved things. I sewed the curtains, put together the shelves, sewed the tablecloth, and just organized away. I am so happy with the end-result. Also, please note the family portraits on the wall taken by my lovely sister-in-law Lisa. If this picture were better, you’d be able to see the extreme cuteness of the effect of the green and white checked digital photo-mats which were made by taking a close-up picture of the curtain and photoshopping.

Oh how I love my profession! The photo-editing fiesta never ends. And, I am seriously proud of this use of space, people. I just keep going into the kitchen just to stand and stare at the results of my labor. It’s been a little hard the last couple of weeks because I’ve been feeling really cramped for space in my home. I’ve been wishing for more room, and unable to come up with any more space. Having come to the conclusion that moving isn’t going to be on our horizon for at least a few more years, I’ve set out to remake my house one room at a time until it feels more suited to our needs. Using food-storage buckets to create cute home decor is just one project in many that I’ve got in mind.

I guess there’ll be no more naps for me for awhile, now.

Ummmm… and now that I’m done bragging, I’m signing off for today. I find that if I wait to post until I’ve got something brilliant or witty or perfectly worded, that I never post.

So here it is. A post, and a resolution. To post again tomorrow, and the next day, even if I’m just taking the time to show off my new dining room.

First of all, let the record show, I am writing a formal written protest to the insinuation made by our friendly neighborhood face recognition program that I look like Ashton Kutcher. Yes, it’s true, though none of you guessed. He is my face double.

Also, let the record show that I will find those of you who guessed that I looked like Howard Stern, Weird Al, and Monica Lewinsky, and I will do dastardly things like leave slanderous comments on your blogs. You are going down, ladies.

My congrats to all those of you who guessed top five results. It was hard for me to see almost any resemblance to these stars even when I was given their names and photos.

But most special congratulations to Stephanie from Princess Mom who won our competition by guessing the oh-so-flattering and much-appreciated Demi Moore. Oh if only people actually stopped me on the street to tell me I looked like her.

Also, my thanks to Angela from Angels In My Rearview for giving me this idea in the first place.

And now, without further ado, you may satisfy your curiosity about the three sets of top-five results. And please let me know your results when you check it out, which you know you will.

First Picture
Chloe Sevigny
Selma Blair
Ann Hathaway
Christina Ricci
Woranuch Wongsawan

Second Picture
Kirstie Alley
Katherine Hepburn
Demi Moore
Ashton Kutcher
Martina McBride

Third Picture
Winona Rider
Alicia Silverstone
Amanda Peet
Cheryl Tweedy
Kathleen Turner

For today’s Name That… quiz, you’ll have to do some facial features analysis for me. I had a face recognition program match my face with my five closest celebrity matches.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to guess who I look like. This is in terms of facial features, not hair-color or even necessarily gender or race. To win, you must guess at least one of the top five answers for one of my star face-matches! You may make up to three guesses.

I submitted three images for comparison. And here they are.

Happy guessing!