Reason #63
Reason #63 not to let your toddler go in the bathroom with you, even if she’s freaking out because you’re trying to make her go to bed in one of the upstairs bedrooms at the house you’re visiting for the evening:
(This post is not for the squeamish)
She just might–if you let her go in there with you to calm her frightened moaning–lean over and barf all over into your pants and underwear that are currently around your ankles while you’re peeing, and coincidentally while you’re a guest in someone else’s home.
That is, she might if she’s my kid, and if she has the stealth stomach flu which is waiting for this particularly awkward moment to make itself known to the world.
She might.
And I might die of humiliation calling for towels and a robe in my host’s house.
Or I might just barely survive to tell the tale.
And that, my friends, is reason #63.
no. tell me this is hypothetical.
you poor dear.
Comment by Tess — October 4, 2006 @ 6:36 am
I can’t imagine being caught in a more embarrassing/difficult situation. How did you explain your way out of that one? I hope it was family, they’re the only ones I’d be able to face again.
Comment by Michelle — October 4, 2006 @ 7:46 am
Lovely. Just lovely. (shaking head….)
Mary, mom to many
Comment by owlhaven — October 4, 2006 @ 7:58 am
Oh Heather, I am so sorry. I am especially sorry that I am sitting here chuckling at your expense.
I hope your host was someone you knew well!
How’s Bean feeling these days? Any better?
Comment by Goslyn — October 4, 2006 @ 9:11 am
Oh My Word! That’s perhaps one of the more horrific toddler puking stories I’ve ever heard.
Also, I wasn’t aware you’re a photographer! Where can I see your work?!
Comment by Alissa — October 4, 2006 @ 11:32 am
Oh….my…..gosh!!!!! That’s worse than the Friends episode where Ross puts baby powder and lotion all over his legs because he was sweating and couldn’t get his leather pants back on.
Comment by Sally — October 4, 2006 @ 12:04 pm
I think my life has been enriched by that story. Thanks for sharing it with us. My life would be so empty without blogging!!!
Comment by The Lazy Organizer — October 4, 2006 @ 12:27 pm
Ah, the bathroom at someone else’s house. Always a breeding ground for disaster. One time when Babs was that age we caught her drinking out of my friend’s toilet with a plastic spoon. Not embarrassing AT ALL.
Comment by mom on a wire — October 4, 2006 @ 12:37 pm
My life has also been enriched today. This is hilarious and we all hope that one day, you too will be able to laugh about it.
Comment by amy a. — October 4, 2006 @ 12:52 pm
priceless! except, wouldn’t it have been worse if she had thrown up out in the hall without you?
Comment by sarah louise — October 4, 2006 @ 1:13 pm
No, Sarah Louise, it was much worse this way, because I couldn’t pull my pants back on. So there was no way out of the pantsless barfy bathroom.
Comment by onewomansworld — October 4, 2006 @ 1:27 pm
WAH hahahahahaha! Some bloggerfriend I am! Mmmff! Wahahahahahah!
Comment by bon — October 4, 2006 @ 1:34 pm
oh man. That’s a classic.
Comment by Gabriela — October 4, 2006 @ 2:20 pm
oh no! i would just die! i’m glad you survived with your humor intact!
Comment by Ginger — October 4, 2006 @ 2:44 pm
When I was little we were visiting my uncle’s house for Thanksgiving (actually his in-law’s house) and I somehow missed the toilet and peed on my pants and underwear. I swear there must have been a whole in the side of that toilet bowl!! It was pretty embarrassing. Almost as embarrasing as this must have been. Almost!
Comment by Jessica — October 4, 2006 @ 3:07 pm
Whoa, Heather. How come I did not hear about this? That is priceless……….. (holding back laughter)…….. just priceless. Really…………WOW!
xoxo Misty
Comment by Misty — October 4, 2006 @ 4:29 pm
Oh my goodness, that is too funny! I’m hosting a “laugh out loud monday” blog carnival, you’ve got to come and link yourself up!
Comment by The Wooden Porch — October 4, 2006 @ 7:15 pm
Oh NO! Oh, poor girl… you and Bean both!
Comment by Shannon from Rocks in my Dryer — October 4, 2006 @ 8:30 pm
Wowza, that’s a nightmare! She puked IN your pants? That’s so awful, and yet hilarious! You poor, poor thing.
Comment by Mary — October 5, 2006 @ 5:00 am
Tess sent me over and ROFL that is totally worth it. I mean, I’m very sad and sorry for you and your embarrassment and so glad that you chose to blog it.
Comment by Kim in MI — October 5, 2006 @ 5:42 am
Oh my! So gross, but yet so funny at the same time! I would have died!
Comment by Rachelle — October 5, 2006 @ 9:22 am
At least the host was your sister!
Comment by NantieMeg — October 5, 2006 @ 11:56 am
Oh so terrible. Sorry it happened!
Comment by RGLHM — October 5, 2006 @ 2:32 pm
My oh my oh my! I don’t know what else to say, execpt……. hahahahahahahahahahaaaaa!
Comment by Mary — October 6, 2006 @ 6:24 am
I have so much to look forward to!
Comment by Ann — October 6, 2006 @ 7:38 am
Oh, Heather! I must say that I both squrimed for you…and, well, laughed. Sorry about the latter, but your description was so good that I couldn’t help it! Sorry to hear that that happened to you.
Comment by Caryn — October 7, 2006 @ 5:19 pm
That is a great reason.
So sorry.
Comment by Brony — October 9, 2006 @ 10:03 pm
Oh, you poor thing. I’ve have some good puke stories but that takes the cake!
Comment by slackermommy — October 10, 2006 @ 6:37 am
Here from ROFL Awards.
I hate to laugh at such a horrible situation, but I can’t help it. The things our children do to us! Poor you.
Comment by Andrea — October 10, 2006 @ 2:05 pm
I knew you’d eventually come up with a good story. Thank you Bean for this one…Do you hear me laughing at you? Oh great, I forgot to write all this evil post in french.
Comment by Gwennaëlle — October 10, 2006 @ 2:40 pm
oh gosh. Oh. gosh.
Comment by Margaret — October 10, 2006 @ 4:52 pm
Ok, I had to read that twice because it took me that long to figure out that she barfed into YOUR underpants. Oh my goodness I can’t stop laughing! What are ya gonna do but laugh?
Comment by Lotta — October 10, 2006 @ 8:52 pm
LMAO. Consider this one filed away for future use. One day months, or perhaps years, from now you will have singlehandedly saved my underwear. Thank you!
And congrats on your ROFL Award today!
Comment by Mommy off the Record — October 10, 2006 @ 10:54 pm
This is too great. I love the post even better. Um…sorry about that.
Comment by daring one — October 11, 2006 @ 3:36 pm
nice site
http://www.outsourcing-world.org/
Comment by outsourcing world — December 22, 2006 @ 8:00 pm